Lost Hope
by nekopoland123
Summary: It was 2 years after the incident at Tropical Land that turned him into a child and his last hope, Ai, had given up. Knowing he could never return to normal, Conan makes bad choices that leave him bleeding out on the detective agency floor. Will Kogoro and the police discover the truth or will they be too late to save Conan from himself? Who Knows!
1. Chapter 1

Mouri Detective Agency was silent as Conan crept into the kitchen. Ran was spending the night with Sonoko and Kogoro was out on a case. On any other day, Conan would have joined the older sleuth, secretly helping him, but a missing cat wasn't worth the hassle. The truth of the matter was, Conan, was tired, tired of hiding, tired of lying, and most of all, tired of constantly hurting the girl he loved. In the beginning, while it wasn't easier, it hurt less when he thought there was a chance of returning to normal. He thought back to the day prior, to the conversation he had with Ai, to the heart-shattering truth he wished was nothing more than a sick prank. It hurt him to accept that, after 2 years working and coming up with only temporary fixes, she had given up on completing the antidote. His only chance of returning to normal was done and there was nothing he could do to change her mind. Conan felt a weight on his chest as he thought about everything he'd never be able to do. He had dreamed of coming home to Ran as Shinichi, telling her the case was over, that he'd never leave again, and finally kissing her.

Conan felt a sad smile cross his lips at his thoughts as he pulled a chair toward the counter. He climbed up and opened a drawer, even with only the dim light coming from the rest of the agency, he could still his reflection in the metal object inside. He saw his eyes, Shinichi's eyes, staring back at him and his heart ached. Conan could almost see the sorrowful look in Ran's eyes when he reminded her of Shinichi. He shook his head, pushing the thought from his mind as he reached into the drawer and pulled out the replacement blade for the box cutter that had been 'missing' for over a year. Kogoro refused to get a new one, despite his complaining, because he claimed it was somewhere in the home. He was right, it was still in the agency, but there was no way for him to know it was under his young ward's futon. No one in the agency knew he had it, nor that he had worn the blade dull.

The shrunken detective hopped off the chair and pushed it back under the table before walking into the main agency. He sat down on the floor in front of the couch and leaned back. Conan had thought about going into the bathroom he and Ran shared to end it all so the cleanup wouldn't be as much of a hassle, but the fear that Ran would find him terrified him. While he knew his death would hurt her, finding him dead, covered in blood, would scar her. No, he had to do it somewhere that Kogoro would find him that night when he came home. Conan pushed up his sleeves and brought the box cutter to his exposed arm, his hands trembling slightly and his heart racing. With a deep breath, he pushed the blade into his scarred flesh, relishing in the pain it brought. As he dragged the blade towards his elbow, he smiled at the blood that ran down his arm as if it was a steady river. His breath quickened as he moved to do the same to his other arm but, as the world spun, he dropped the weapon. His small body collapsed, and he accidentally knocked the box cutter under the couch. Conan didn't hear the agency door open over the ringing in his ears, nor did he hear the scream that filled the once silent room as his consciousness faded.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun began to set as Kogoro entered the taxi to go home. He had finally had enough of trivial cases, he was the great detective Mori Kogoro for Christ sake. The vein in his head looked as if it would burst as he reviewed the finished case. It started with him being called to some creepy mansion in the middle of nowhere for a 'confidential' reason and a promise of a hefty pay. Normally, if a client wishes to only speak in person about a case, it had to do with being stalked or adultery, but to the detective's dismay, it was nothing of the sorts. When the client had taken him to the lounge and finally asked him to find his lost cat. Kogoro, after taking a moment to remind himself of the pay he was sure to receive, had agreed and begun his search. Usually, if an animal was lost, it would turn up near the entrances after being locked out or be found with a relative. The client followed close behind as he stepped into the kitchen to look and there, sitting in the middle of the floor was the 'lost' cat waiting to be fed. While the sappy reunion of the owner and his cat caused the detective to feel accomplished despite not doing anything, the feeling was soon replaced with anger as the client practically kicked him out without pay, not even a dime for the cab trip.

As the cab pulled up to his home, a grumble left his mouth when he begrudgingly gave up the driver's payment. Kogoro looked up at the building and frustration flashed in his eyes when he saw the lights on, which meant Conan was going through his files again. The older man knew that the boy had the skill needed to be a detective despite his young age, though he would never admit. The thought of a kid outsmarting him on cases made him frustrated enough to deny him access despite the good it could do. Kogoro stomped up the steps and prepared a speech in his head to yell at the overly curious boy, but the words died in his throat as he opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the thick stench of blood and as he stepped further into the room, he could see the small prone form laying in front of the couch. As if his mind was on autopilot, he screamed and ran to the boy, searching him for injuries. Once his eyes fell on Conan's arm, he sprung into action, using one had to try and stop the heavy flow of blood and the other to call for an ambulance before placing it with the other. The normally confident detective felt his composure completely shatter as tears leaked from his eyes. Though he would never admit it, he cared for the boy as if he was family. "C-Come on brat, don't you dare d-die on me!" The minutes it took for the ambulance to arrive felt like hours and it took all of Kogoro's will to tear his eyes from the pale, near lifeless face below him. He watched silently as the EMT's loaded the boy onto the stretcher before following them into the ambulance. With blood still covering his hands, he pulled out his phone and called Meguri but as the phone kept ringing, Mori had just about given up before there was a soft click and a voice answered.

"Moshi Moshi, Inspector Meguri speaking."

Kogoro let out a shaky breath before speaking. "Juzo…" He didn't have a chance to finish before the other man spoke again.

"Are those sirens? Mori, what's going on? They sound like you're right next to them." Meguri's words were quick and laced with concern, he knew the kinds of trouble his friend often found himself in.

"I-Its Conan... He.." Mori cleared his throat and gripped the phone tighter. "Can you meet me at Beika General Hospital?" He didn't wait for the inspector's answer before hanging up and directing his direction to the stretcher. Conan's skin was an ashy grey and his eyes looked sunken in, almost as if he were nothing more than a corpse. Kogoro's heart clenched between every breath the boy took, fearing that each would be his last. As the ambulance pulled up to the hospital and Conan was dragged away, the older detective feared that he might never see him alive again.


	3. Chapter 3

Megure stood in shock as the line went dead, it disturbed him to hear the normally arrogant detective sound so distressed. He couldn't help speculate what could have happened to the little detective. It was no secret that Conan was seen, by both the public and police force, as the mascot of Division 1. The boy seemed to always be present during investigations, sometimes even solving them himself. The Inspector couldn't imagine how the rest of the force would react when they learned something happened. Without further hesitation, he headed to his vehicle and sped to the hospital, his sirens wailing through the once quiet night. His mind was scattered, possible scenarios playing through his mind to prepare himself for whatever he might encounter. However, nothing could have prepared him to see one of his closest friends staring blankly at the waiting room wall, covered in blood. Panic clawed at his heart as he approached the broken detective, calling his name to draw his attention. When no response came, he gently placed a hand on his shoulder, noting the slight flinch from his friend.

Kogoro looked up at the Inspector, his eyes torn between anger and anguish. In a quick motion, he stood, gripping his friends' shoulders tightly. "I will catch the son of a bitch that did this! What kind of idiot does he take me for! Conan would never do this! No little kid would even be capable of this!" He let go of Megure's shoulders and paced, reviewing the past few hours in his mind.

The inspector stared at him in awe and utter confusion. All he could grasp from the frantic shouts of his friend was that someone hurt Conan, and that thought alone sparked rage in him. Before he could question Kogoro any further, a doctor walked through the emergency room doors.

"Which of you is the guardian of Edogawa Conan?" He asked calmly, eying the pacing man questionably.

With no hesitation, Megure answered while Kogoro was still lost in his thoughts. "I'm the one in charge of the investigation. So, tell me, what happened. How is he?"

A look of confusion crossed the doctor's face. "Investigation? Isn't it premature?" He looked down at his clipboard, checking to see if he had the right patient. "Most suicide attempts don't get this kind of attention."

The inspector stood dumbfounded for a moment before clearing his throat. "S-Suicide attempt? I thought this was an attempted homicide." He glanced at his pacing friend before focusing his attention back on the doctor. "Before I investigate anything, please, tell me of his condition."

"He is stable, however, he has lost a significant amount of blood. He was brought in with his radial artery sliced open. Thankfully, the man who called the ambulance applied pressure in just the right place to block the blood flow with the radius. If it wasn't for that, I am certain the boy would have died before making it to the hospital." The doctor paused and held his chin in thought. "I can understand why you assumed that this was an attempted homicide. In my many years of working as a doctor, I've never seen a boy so young arrive in such a state. The wound was clean enough to pass for a professional's work." A muffled buzz came from his waist, pulling him from his thoughts. He glanced down at the pager on his hip and straightened. "I have to go. You can ask a nurse for any information you need." With that, he made his way back to the emergency room.

For a moment the room was silent, but Kogoro, who finally ceased in his pacing, broke it. "I'm telling you, it was a murder attempt! I've lived with the kid for years and he's showed no sign!"

Megure didn't know what to think. While on one hand, it sounded like a straightforward suicide attempt; he had seen too many similar cases revealed as murder to believe it as true. He placed a firm hand on Kogoro's shoulder. "We must get the statements of Ran and Conan's friends in the morning."

The detective deadpanned at the inspector's words. "Kuso… How am I going to tell Ran?"


End file.
